For When It Feels Like No One’s Reading
The loneliness of the long-distance newsletter
Believe it or not, when it comes to writing my newsletter, I'm only a few steps ahead of you.
The first issue of We're Writing on the Internet went out in February 2024. And it still feels like early days to me.
My readers have grown in number over that time. But I still don't get anything like the rate of engagement that I see many other writers, many of whom are newer than me, and with less content, seem to get.
And every now and then, I do an issue of the newsletter that asks a question. Or perhaps use a Note on Substack to capture my readers' interest and to ask them about something that might be on their mind.
And it's very rare that I get a response, even after all this time, with a pretty big audience.
There's a good chance you're in the same boat. I get the frustration.
Let's take a look at some ways we can deal with it.
A Broader View
One thing I found over all these months of writing is that you don't build your voice and your audience overnight.
One leads to the other. In fact, it's probably more accurate to say they lead to each other.
It's a two-way street.
You find a voice which you like writing in.
You put it in front of an audience. It appeals to some of them, not to others. That gives you a bit of a sense of what you might like to change. So you change your voice and your audience changes, and so it goes on, and it builds, but it takes time.
And I think, as with so many other things in life... Those who know me well know I have lots of little mottos. One of them being, "If you're rushing, you're doing it wrong."
And I apply that to as much of my busy life as I can.
And I've realised over all this time that good growth, solid, strong growth can be slow. And just because people aren't responding directly to what you write, it doesn't mean they're not reading. It doesn't mean they're not valuing it.
And you are giving your audience something they didn't have before you touched the keyboard.
Every single time you pressed "Publish".
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Let’s get back to today’s topic...
Why It’s Hard, But Worth It
But when things do feel quiet, when the frustration starts to set in, when nothing comes back, what can we do?
I think there are a few things that we can try to help navigate that path.
Firstly, we can continue to invite engagement in a low pressure, non pushy way. We can just say, "Hey, this is on my mind. It might be on yours, too. Got any thoughts to add?"
Secondly, one thing we probably need to do for our own mental health is to take a fresh look at our own expectations.
There's some truth to the statement that consistency will always result in a better outcome in the long run than some sort of viral response that's like a firework going off. Something massive that happens briefly, but then is so often quickly forgotten.
And thirdly, I think, in the end, it goes back to another old motto, "Trust the process."
You have to have some faith that those invisible, silent readers… they do exist, they are there, they do appreciate it.
They may not have time to respond. They may feel that they don't have anything useful to add, either to you or the wider reading community.
So they don't say anything. But it doesn't mean they don't think, and it doesn't mean that your words aren't having an impact.
And if we take those three factors and realise that that's a better explanation for what's going on, and this is how we can deal with it... Instead of just being all grumpy and fed up and moody, because we're not getting any answers.
That's what keeps us going. That's what leads to that consistency, which will eventually lead to success.
A Tip or Two To Navigate the Silence
Maybe you've just started your newsletter recently, and you're feeling the same frustration.
Or like me, you've been writing for months, years, and you still don't seem to be getting the results that some other writers seem to be getting.
There are plenty of us at this stage. There are plenty of us over varying periods of time who are still feeling the silence.
Even some of the most respected writers in the world get the same thing every now and then.
And be honest with yourself. That great newsletter you read the other day from that author who's really well respected and well established?
Did you respond to that? Or did you feel, "Well, they probably don't need to hear my voice on this one"?
Yeah, interesting, isn't it?
Anyway, as you know by now, I've been putting together a few tools for new newsletter writers, and there are some links hovering around in this week's issue.
Take a look at them. You might find something that just gives you the encouragement you need.
Thanks for reading.
Don't forget to check out my other newsletter, The Dancing Stepdad, for insights into the challenging and rewarding world of step-parenting.
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I’m right there with you on this one.
Honestly. Completely.
I write occasional stories where the silence is a kind of character. And I don’t post them. Because I fear the silence. And getting silence when writing about it would be confirming.
I post my Substack on Facebook, because it seems to matter to some folks I know. I think… usually I get no comments there either. (If I post a pic of flowers, a piece of music, a picture of myself or almost anything, I can have dozens of folks writing encouraging comments. But not my Substack. Perhaps they fear the program?) Just a couple of days ago, a friend and I were at a potluck. When she saw me, she excitedly told me that she reads everything I post because it helps her be less overwhelmed in the world we find ourselves in. (Which is depressing and seems to be getting more so, but I’m not going to talk about it.) I was so grateful, and let her know that was exactly why I wrote the way I do. (With hope.) But she rarely comments, or “likes” my stories on Substack.
When I am particularly feeling the silence, I might look to see how many times a story has been opened. And then I find my brother has opened it 6 times, or that a neighbor has opened it twice, or that my husband has opened it. They never give any indication to me that they have read it. Not on Substack, Facebook, or in person. But… they did look, and that is something.
When I think about it pragmatically, I can realize that this is an app primarily for writers, who have little time to read. Those that have lots of subscribers, and produce lots of writing , don’t have time, not headspace to read something I’ve written. And then there is life… relationships, jobs, vacations, obligations in the actual world at large. They just flat out don’t have time. (Sometimes, I want to read a newsletter, article, story, or listen to a podcast, but I just don’t have time.)
This minute, I should be getting ready to go on a trip, packing, organizing, getting music ready, making sure things are settled here. I’ll go.
But I do want to tell you that your newsletters are one of the things I will always read when I have a few minutes. I appreciate the honesty in your writing, and the tips about how to make writing better… even if I don’t write a newsletter myself. lol!